ERBianism

A fanzine article once formulated one of the rules of the ERBian universe, i.e., a woman about to be assaulted will be inevitably be rescued at the last moment. It remains only to compile a list of examples, e.g. Jane, about to be assaulted by an ape, rescued by Tarzan; Jane, about to be assaulted by Tarzan, rescued by the power of her purity etc. Some practical guidelines emerged, e.g., watch out for those Emperors of Abyssinia; if the assault occurs in a boat, then the assailant can be laid out with an oar etc.

It is also a truth universally acknowledged that a woman rescued from barbarians will turn out to be a young and beautiful princess who will marry her rescuer. SM Stirling plays with this idea in Against The Tide Of Years (New York, 1999), Chapter Fifteen:

"'So, Colonel, I hear it's a princess we rescued,' he said. 'A young, beautiful princess at that.'" (p. 234)

But what would be the implications of rescuing a princess? Stirling immediately spells it out:

"'Paddy, for once rumor does not lie - and there's all sorts of political implications involved.'" (p. 235)

The news that there is a surviving member of the Mitannian royal family is a complicating factor just when everyone is declaring independence and the Aramaeans are burning and looting. The Babylonians are stretched thin and the Nantucketers do not want complicating factors like a beautiful young princess.